Who Would Have Thought

My poor car has been through hell the last two years. There are countless dings, scratches, and dents along the sides of my doors where the paint used to be shining and flawless. My once admirably pretty little car is now perfectly average. The cause? Parenthood!

Ok so maybe not directly I now ALWAYS park next to the cart stall. How else could I pack my kiddo in her seat, unload groceries, and return my cart with lightning speed?! The only downside is people are ruthlessly careless so my car gets a healthy number of flesh wounds.

As Mother’s Day approaches this got me thinking of all the changes my life has undergone. I mean besides the big obvious changes like sleeping in is now defined as past 8am or that I will never eat from my own plate alone again. I’m talking the small, profound changes I could never predict!

Things like:

• Parking as close to the door and cart stalls as possible. I’ve always been laid back with parking. I’ve been known to park at the very back just to not deal with the crowded lot of potentially careless drivers. Now though, that’s a worry of a past me. I’m much more worried about the silent ticking timer to an epic tantrum if I can’t get my groceries and toddler both in the car quick enough. The time for bananas is the second she sees them and making her wait isn’t fun for anyone involved! Best to just ensure the process is sneaky and quick!
• Suddenly caring if things I buy are quality. $6 mascara, generic shampoo, and boxed hair dye were basically part of my very soul before my daughter. I had the time, money, and energy to keep maintaining the low quality results and the less I spent on those things the more tacos I could buy. Now when I buy myself things, they better be worth it! It’s so rare for me to buy myself anything outside necessities that I’m much more concerned with the long-run value than the short-term gratification. Don’t get me wrong, I still love generic brands and good deals but only if the quality lives up to what I want!
• Vacations are no longer relaxing. Going home to Missouri for the weekend, taking a road trip, or even a stay-cation are now 100% about my daughter. Making sure she sees extended Family, isn’t bored, or experiences something new is my entire focus. It’s both invigorating and exhausting. There’s a special sense of love and appreciation seeing a happy toddler and knowing I caused it. Once she’s in bed, tired from an amazing day, I can relax in peace.
• My sense of style somehow shifted 180 degrees. It wasn’t uncommon to see me in all black even on the hottest summer day, thick eye liner, Black mascara, freshly lightened blonde hair with flashes of whatever colors I wanted, and either a geeky saying or band logo on my shirt. I didn’t spend a lot of time on my appearance but I did have a very specific taste. As my daughter has grown older my eye liner vanished (literally I can never find the stinking thing), my mascara was forgotten at the bottom of a cheerio filled purse, and my clothes keep getting brighter from all the chalk. There are days I gravely miss my wanna-be punk rock look. Most days though, I spend more time picking her adorable outfits than I do my own and I am 100% happy with that!
• I cry a lot more. I don’t know if pregnancy hormones permanently rewired my brain or if I’m just a big ol’ baby now but stuff makes me cry so much more than it used to! Cute baby at the zoo laughs? Tears. Sad story on the news? Tears. Happy story on the news? Lots of tears. Pizza tasted excellent? All the tears. I can’t control it even slightly so I just go with it, compose myself, and laugh it off.

Motherhood is the most unusual, unpredictable, unimaginable experience I have ever been through. One that, now that it’s started, I can’t imagine living without it.

To everyone, I hope you have a beautiful weekend with loved ones! I also hope all the moms who can’t celebrate with their children and all the children who can’t be with their moms this weekend can find light and happiness. ❤️

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!