Today is Ides of March and boy oh boy the universe made absolute certain I felt it! It was the perfect accumulation of marginal frustrations, legitimate conflicts, and minor annoyances to leave my brain melted and nerves fried by the end of the work day.
I think it’s safe to say we have ALL had days like that. Nothing particularly horrible happens but enough mild disruptions show up back to back that it feels like the world is just against you. Even when we love our lives we’re bound to have days like that.
When they happen though it can be really hard to see the beauty, peace, or magic around us. For me, it feels downright impossible sometimes. I have spent years building the skill of moving on and letting go in an effort to not let these days be actual full days. It’s not an easy skill to obtain but it is worth the work.
I am not always successful. My fiancé and my best friend has seen the worst days where I am utterly downtrodden. My fiancé in particular has even seen me cry, yes bawling like a tantrum cry, in the Starbucks drive through because my phone died before they could scan it. First world problem for sure but in that moment it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I don’t believe anyone goes from zero to 100 in a scale of intense emotions because of something small. Chances are they’re silently sitting at 98-99 and snap because that small thing hit the buzzer. Who knows how long they’ve been sitting so close to the edge?
I am really proud to say that today I did succeed though! I was still stressed and strained more than usual but I didn’t let it ruin the night like I have in the past. Like I mentioned, this is a huge deal for me so yippee!
In light of this I wanted to share some tips and tricks I’ve gathered over the years for dealing with chaos when it strikes full swing and the camel’s back feels less and less sturdy by the second:
1. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. I’m always tempted to belittle myself and invalidate my own feelings by telling myself how silly, irrational, or stupid my frustration is. This never ever works. It makes it worse. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt that your feelings are very valid. Even in situations where they may be a little intense for what is going on, accepting that what you feel is real helps the emotion pass naturally.
2. Feel it. Don’t stifle the frustration and anger or whatever emotion you get caught up in. Obviously keep setting in mind and avoid punching walls, screaming profanities at strangers, or balling up under a desk to cry but let yourself have a few minutes to feel the feelings so you can move on from them. Emotions are naturally fleeting but the longer you avoid them the longer they linger.
3. Move. Once you’ve accepted and felt all the feels, get up and move. Walk around, dance, spin, or anything you want as long as you move around!! A quick change of scenery and tempo can really make all the difference.
4. Get perspective. Ask a trusted person for their take on the situation. This can give you a time to vent but also get another viewpoint you might be missing. If you don’t want advice or help just ask to mindfully complain a bit!
5. Let go of control. Somethings are just out of our hands. I truly hate this fact and I still don’t like accepting it. When I do accept it though it has made those situations 100 times easier though. I can’t control other people’s emotions, actions, or anything besides myself. As long as I’m moving in the right direction and doing what I need to do, anything that comes my way can’t be stopped.
I know these won’t always work for everyone and if you try them they might not be for you. I’m not even trying to say these are the best ways. Heck they don’t even work for me 100% of the time. There are hundreds of ways to handle hard days but these are my top 5 go-to methods.
Today I tried to do all these things. When I got off work I had a dance party with my kiddo to the Trolls soundtrack (burnt 112 calories too!! Whoop!!), talked to my fiancé, and then ate spaghetti on our kitchen floor.
I accepted that I can’t control how messy my toddler is with food so instead we ate on tile where it’s easily cleaned. She wanted to wear socks as mittens. It wasn’t hurting her and she was thrilled so guess what? She ate with sock mittens and it was adorable and hilarious!
The moral of the story though is that when chaos hits the world won’t end, the sun won’t blacken, and the beauty won’t dim. You just have to do a little more to see through the fog. ❤️ If all else fails, at least our Ides of March went better than Caesar’s!
Hopefully my 5 tips either helps you deal with your next hard day (sadly there is a next one almost guaranteed) or help inspire you to find your favorite coping mechanisms!
If you already have some favorites leave them in a comments! I’d love to hear them!!